i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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