1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
