Your mouth is God's brothel.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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