my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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