he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize