I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
