yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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