At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
