Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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