I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
