just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
