You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
tell me about the fingering
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
