I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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