I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize