so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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