1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
"it" just moved
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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