I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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