thus making me awesome and them whores
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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