did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
