There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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