i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
