i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
