He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
