the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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