So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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