i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
