pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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