If that was your dad, he is hot
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
