He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
