My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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