I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
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