Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
