Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
