his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
