I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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