its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
