bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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