I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
