I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
