Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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