I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize