super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.