I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?