Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum. http://tfl.nu/6d6p
  Replies (37) Good night (885) Bad night (9252)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again. http://tfl.nu/1qgn
  Replies (76) Good night (22229) Bad night (1662)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud. http://tfl.nu/41vp
  Replies (7) Good night (4647) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics http://tfl.nu/3wmw
  Replies (68) Good night (10969) Bad night (2621)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  protesters in toronto definately have the best pot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): protesters in toronto definately have the best pot http://tfl.nu/s38f
  Replies (17) Good night (4751) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  I plan on gettn treatment center drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (682): I plan on gettn treatment center drunk http://tfl.nu/t6du
  Replies (3) Good night (2317) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (779): We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time.. http://tfl.nu/hdfa
  Replies (2) Good night (2326) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate. http://tfl.nu/sg11
  Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (1882)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream. http://tfl.nu/kzw3
  Replies (16) Good night (688) Bad night (2131)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here. http://tfl.nu/8u6g
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (+81): View more from

  I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+81): I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing? http://tfl.nu/61om
  Replies (4) Good night (788) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character http://tfl.nu/qsh8
  Replies (4) Good night (1657) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now. http://tfl.nu/gi33
  Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher. http://tfl.nu/xgiu
  Replies (2) Good night (1277) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE http://tfl.nu/za5g
  Replies (0) Good night (640) Bad night (323)

Randomize