Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness. http://tfl.nu/0zt1
  Replies (8) Good night (789) Bad night (1969)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk. http://tfl.nu/mcib
  Replies (47) Good night (10069) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon! http://tfl.nu/1aph
  Replies (92) Good night (13836) Bad night (1667)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Each and every day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (819): Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough? (604): Each and every day. http://tfl.nu/71fx
  Replies (16) Good night (4651) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley. http://tfl.nu/14i4
  Replies (16) Good night (1197) Bad night (5210)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  that's what penises do

  (254): View more from Texas

  they tell lies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): that's what penises do (254): they tell lies. http://tfl.nu/si8y
  Replies (14) Good night (4753) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer. http://tfl.nu/fsjr
  Replies (4) Good night (2867) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it. http://tfl.nu/ou1a
  Replies (3) Good night (2554) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face... http://tfl.nu/7dsy
  Replies (6) Good night (1523) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe. http://tfl.nu/ze7a
  Replies (4) Good night (1216) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had. http://tfl.nu/0gqr
  Replies (16) Good night (285) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room http://tfl.nu/htix
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is? http://tfl.nu/juj9
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Are you okay?

  (1-661): View more from California

  I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Are you okay? (1-661): I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay! http://tfl.nu/70id
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive. http://tfl.nu/7nfi
  Replies (7) Good night (631) Bad night (166)

Randomize