You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.