just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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