office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
