Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
