she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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