after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
