He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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