So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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