I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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