there's paper in my vomit.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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