You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
