I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
