You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She said her name was "party"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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