what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
