fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
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she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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