After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
