He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
