She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
