its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
