he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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